Back to Black

Well that's it then.  My name is definitely on the list.  I'm going to be grading for my black belt in April.  Gulp.

Dragging my sorry arse off the sofa to go to my Taekwon-Do class last night was hard. I'd enjoyed rather too much the preceding two weeks of cosy warmth, twinkly Christmas lights and a Sky+ menu of fabulous TV teamed with lovely bottles of Rioja and Merlot and a groaning cheeseboard.  Oh how I love to lounge about and stuff my face.  Stepping onto the scales on Sunday morning was enough of a motivation for the lounging to cease and the exercise to commence - pronto.

It was a cold, wet and uninviting January night into which I trudged, hat pulled low to keep my ears warm.  The training session itself was OK in that I didn't get an overwhelming urge to vomit half way through the warm up unlike last year when I remember having to lie down with my legs in the air to get the blood back to my head and then tripping over someone and spraining my big toe - ouch.

No, last night was all manageable and I very nearly remembered all my patterns.  In Taekwon-Do there are nine patterns to learn, each one corresponding with a coloured belt.  The patterns are meant to be sort of mock fights where you go through all the moves as if one or two invisible opponents were attacking you.  They're all quite different but cunningly some sequences of moves are very similar to others so it's not uncommon to see people (oh ok, me) stood stock still, mid-move realising they they've unwittingly merged two patterns into one and now can't remember what should come next.

Then just when I was thinking "I've survived the dreaded return to training, I'm alive!" my instructor asked if anyone was intending to grade for black belt in April.  My hand, seemingly with a life of its own, suddenly and rather precociously, shot up.  "Aha", he murmured, jotting something down, "see me after class".  I naturally assumed that this would be when he would gently but firmly tell me that perhaps I should wait for the next grading in October, work on my fitness, improve my sparring etc etc, but no. 

Dear Reader, imagine my shock when my instructor (have I mentioned what a clever, patient and gifted man he is?) put my name down on the official list and said he was pleased that I was going for it!  So there we are.  I now have in front of me three months of bloody hard work, mental and physical, and those of you who read my previous post about not being a great sticker at things, well, I'm going to have to see it through now or risk looking like a right loser (note to self: channel La Mandelson "I am not a quitter..blah...blah")

Very soon I'm going to have to face my biggest demon and that is the sparring element of Taekwon-Do.  I've had six months off due to the knee operation I had last summer to rid me of the crippling osteo-arthritis I'd developed and I just know it's going to be a massive challenge when I face my first opponent in training.  For me it's a psychological barrier rather than a physical one that I have to get over.  When you're face to face with someone, trading punches and kicks, it's self-belief and perseverance that counts.  Of course fitness and technique play a huge part, but it doesn't matter how great your aerobic capacity, if you don't believe you can win then you won't, simple as that.

It was that rather sobering thought that reverberated as I battled home in the darkness last night.  I have to believe that I can and then I will.  Simple.....?