Kids and computers, or games consoles, ipads, ipod touches, X-Boxes, wiis or Nintendos or any other thing you can think of which has a screen and moving images, all these devices are being likened to a kind of crack cocaine for children, such is their addictivity (is that even a word?) and appeal.
I have long been viewed as a parent with slightly fascist tendencies, not allowing my kids anything electronic apart from advert-free TV (limited to weekend mornings and occasionally after school if they've been well behaved) and very occasional supervised computer time if they have to research something for homework. They have recently been given for their birthdays (7th and 9th) second-hand ipod nanos on which they can listen to music only; no games, no internet access.
Son started nagging for a Nintendo when he was 6. A lot of his friends had either got them already, or were on a promise for a forthcoming birthday or Christmas. We said no. I almost wobbled when I found him, aged 7, with an empty mini cereal box, a piece of string and one of those little pencils you get in Argos or Ikea. He'd made himself a 'pretendo', complete with stylus (the pencil) attached via the piece of string, sellotaped to a corner of the box. He sat there for a while pretending to play games like he'd seen his friends do, before chucking it in the corner and running outside to kick a ball around, as kids should do.
Husband and I laughed privately (so cute! so inventive!... la la la) and then had the inevitable discussion about whether he was somehow missing out by not having the real thing, whether we were taking the hardline for the sake of it. I questioned friends who had succumbed bought various portable games devices for their kids. I wanted to know how they decided what to buy, how much they'd spent and how much time on average, their offspring were allowed to use said device during a normal school week.
The answers did not much sway me. Most had taken the plunge because of prolonged nagging and a belief that if other kids the same age had them then it must be ok. Hmmmmm. The money spent varied from £40ish for a second-hand Nintendo and pre-owned games, to a few hundred pounds for a new mini ipad. Double hmmmmm. When did it become the norm to give a young child such an expensive (and breakable) toy?
Roughly half of those questioned said that they'd had to severely limit the amount of time the child spent playing on it, using it as a reward for good behaviour and setting a timer to signal when to stop. The other half confirmed that the child 'hardly went on it anyway' after the initial excitement. Which lead me to wonder what was the point of buying the damn thing anyway?
On the rare occasions that we eat out as a family, it's now commonplace to see other groups, adults talking, the various children, heads down, concentrating fully on a small screen in front of them. Yes I can see that it makes for a much more peaceful gathering - don't get me wrong - Husband and I often exchange weary glances over yet another mealtime ruined by childish bickering, brattish tantrums and questions of the extremely silly variety (and that's just us - boom boom!) and wonder why on earth we bother.
But we do bother, and continue to bother, believing strongly that children should be aware of and fully engaged with their surroundings and need to learn how to exhibit good manners (table or otherwise) and contribute to interesting conversations. As soon as you stick a screen infront of their young, impressionable faces, they cease to do either. Recently in China, brain scans were carried out on adolescents diagnosed with internet addiction, an increasingly common condition. The scans showed that the white matter of the brain - the part that contains nerve fibres - was significantly altered as a result of prolonged exposure to electronic screens. Described as "groundbreaking", this research revealed worrying evidence that nerve fibres used for emotions, decision making and self-control were damaged by too much screen time. Nobody yet knows how much of this damage is reversible.
Two summers ago we drove to Spain, camping on the way. We were offered by kind and thoughtful friends the loan of: a portable DVD, a laptop (on which to play games) and a Nintendo. We declined all, opting instead to buy the kids a selection of doodle books, reading books, magnetic puzzles, CDs and crucially a photocopied map so they could track our progress. All in all I'm glad we did. Yes the journey had its 'moments'. Yes there were times when I contemplated the benefits of opening the door and throwing myself from a fast moving vehicle to get away from the flipping whining emanating from the back seat. But they were small moments and they passed and we all look back on that holiday as being quite magical.
I feel a need to qualify my ranting: neither Husband nor I are 'anti' technology - we don't live in some sort of self-imposed exile, shunning all attempts at modernisation and communication. Far from it; I spend most of my working life in one of the most technologically advanced media hubs in the world, regularly and enthusiastically grappling with new and advanced kit. Husband knows his way around a hard drive (matron!) and we both own whizzy smart phones. But we are adults and we use our technology as tools to do our jobs. Our brains are fully formed by virtue of having spent our formative years enjoying a combination of playing outside, playing real sport - not waving a wand at a wii, getting muddy, reading books, climbing trees, making dens, doing jigsaws, watching rubbish 1970s TV and most importantly having time to be well and truly bored. I want all that for my kids too.
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