Calories - 1900 (oh poo), exercise - none (bah), alcohol consumed - lost count (oops). Yes I have been making like Bridget J recently and jotting down all the little things that when put together, go towards making up the bigger picture.
Reader, just two weeks ago I stepped on the scales and almost fainted. The digits that flashed before my sleepy eyes came as a shock. In effect about twelve pounds of extra flab have crept slowly and silently onto my frame over the past year, resulting in straining seams and a general feeling that all is not as it should be.
I'd been aware for a few months that clothes were feeling a bit on the tight side, especially around the midriff, but I put it to the back of my mind, assuming that all would right itself once the summer was over and I had more time to exercise.
But no, it is not as simple as that. It would appear that after four weeks of slugging it out, every week day at a mixture of circuits, aerobics, taekwondo, kick-fit and total body workout (like circuits but harder!), the weight is simply not shifting. The flab is more toned but it's still there; the clothes are still not fitting. Which is a complete pain as it means that I now am looking at the dreaded calorie counting, or in other words - a diet.
God how I detest having to think about every damn morsel I put in my mouth. I'm much more used to being so active that it doesn't matter a jot what I eat or drink, a much more satisfying state of affairs but one that is seemingly temporarily (or so I hope) unavailable to me.
It makes me ponder on whether I'd rather be a) stressed out but thin, or b) happy but plump. It's a tough one to call. Clearly life is just a bit too comfortable just now (poor little me eh?) So today I started a secret food diary (secret in that I never talk about 'dieting' or being unhappy with my body in front of the kids) into which I aim to note everything that passes my lips to see exactly what I'm doing wrong. Thank God for the internet. I can simply Google "how many calories in half an avocado" - 133 in case you were interested - and fill in the little column and add up as I go along. Riveting.
So I'm an adult, with forty-odd years of yo-yoing up and down between the dress sizes which I regard as a minor nuisance but not earthshattering. My self-confidence and esteem are generally high and while I might hate the muffin top, I love the person underneath it. But how do you deal with a 7-year old girl who is also overweight?
Yes it's Daughter. My wonderful, funny, clever, beautiful little girl has been overweight for about 2 years now and it's getting to the stage where it's a struggle to get clothes to fit. At the beginning of term I happened to be in BHS in Oxford St and noticed that they do a school uniform range in a 'generous' fit. I was simultaneously repulsed and relieved. I quickly bought her a pair of these trousers and was then sad but relieved that they fitted.
Last September we had real problems trying to get skirts and trousers to fit. We traipsed around the shops, trying on larger and larger sizes, but she's only little and the age 8-9 clothes just about did up round the waist, but of course swamped her everywhere else. Until that point I'd kind of ignored the weight, putting it down to puppy fat that would simply melt away when she grew a bit, I felt really uncomfortable about the prospect of putting a, then 6-yr-old, on a diet. I personally know of a woman who died, just a few years ago from anorexia which in turn stemmed from childhood weight issues. I absolutely LOATHE the current thin obsession and would much rather focus on being fit and strong, with a healthy weight a convenient side effect.
On that shopping trip I was almost in tears in John Lewis, struggling to get a pair of school trousers done up, I suddenly decided that enough was enough and my continued ignoring of the issue was tantamount to child neglect. At home we sat down and had a talk about healthy eating, exercise and all of the family needing to reduce our 'jelly-bellies' that had crept on over the summer. "But not ME!" son helpfully shouted from his bedroom, "I don't have a jelly-belly!". No darling, not you (through gritted teeth, trying to keep it all light and non-judgemental).
So we decided that as pretty much everything we ate at home was healthy, and that she did lots of daily exercise (PE, taekwondo, swimming, gymnastics, trampolining in the garden, scootering to school), the only thing she could alter was what she ate at school, most specifically the puddings. I look at their school lunch menu from time to time and shake my head in wonder that the school has a 'no chocolate' policy for the packed lunch brigade, but thinks nothing of serving up sticky toffee pudding, jam doughnuts, apple crumble and custard, caramel shortbread every single day. Empty calories, as my mother would say.
So bless her, last year she agreed that as she would like her clothes to fit better, she would have pudding only twice a week, and the other 3 days would opt for a yoghurt or fruit. Reader, the difference was immediately noticeable. Her sticky-out tummy became more streamlined and she began to look like the other little girls again. But just recently I've noticed that it's happening again. We bought a (larger size) dress on Saturday for a dance competition and it wouldn't do up. Oh dear. I got that sick feeling, a mixture of guilt (that I'd let it creep on again), desperation (am I doing the right thing by making it an issue?), fear (of triggering some sort of eating disorder) and downright weariness - here we go again.
It transpires that at school she has returned to eating a pudding every day, just like her dad (in a crisis blame him) if a pudding is in front of her and a queue of people behind, she simply cannot resist. So as from today, we're trying packed lunches which thank goodness, she is really keen on and at the moment, I have time to make. If we can control the calorie intake, surely the weight will disappear? There's been a big 'push' recently by the NHS highlighting the problems caused by childhood obesity; they're calling it the 'foremost public health threat currently facing the youth of this nation'. Children, like my daughter, who carry excess weight in their early years are much more at risk of developing type 2 diabetes, high blood-fat levels, liver disease, joint and mobility problems and some cancers as they get older.
Reader I sincerely hope the packed lunches make a difference, otherwise we'll have to get the doctors involved then it really will become an 'issue'.
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